I’ve gotta say it because it still hurts. I do love you, and yes I want you back. Though I question myself in disbelief, of wanting a guy that doesn’t love me.. I still can’t understand myself. I read that love is NOT a feeling. Love is a Choice. And I believe my heart feels what my mind has decided. In which either way, if I were to follow my mind or my heart, the answer would still be the same. I’d still love you.
So forgive me if I come off as silly or annoying,.. Just know that if you’re out there wishing you could come home to me, I’d be waiting already.
Okay, so yeah it hurts. If you were to ask me whether or not I was jealous, then Yes I was. It’s strange to think at one point you could be so accepted by someone, and then as time goes by, they treat you a whole lot differently. Yeah, it’s different now. There’s nothing much to say anymore. I’d definitely like things to return to the way they were before, no doubt.. But I don’t wanna pretend that airplanes and wishes go together, cause they don’t.
– JoeyDAMNIT! I can’t fit into my favourite pair of jeans anymore! I blame deliciously sinful fatty foods.
When all that’s left is my tears.
Heck, all this time. Falling for you. From the very beginning I somehow knew that we’d never work out. So here I am typing this through my tears. After 10 months, becoming a part of you, and making you one of the most important person in my life. I swear on my broken-heart, that yes, after all that you’ve did, I truly do love you. I felt this emptiness start to fill the spaces between us as we got further and further apart. Dismissing the fear of losing you, I tried maintaining us. Wanting to feel the way I used to feel all the time, before our biggest fight. You realized that after everytime we fight, we’d make up real quick, and we’d come up much more stronger than we were before. I can’t stop, I didn’t stop. I’ve gotta somehow learn to get used to the idea that you’re not the one for me. All this while I’ve been feeding my soul some good ol’ false hope, but that just made everything in general worse than it already is. I can’t believe you can’t see how much you mean to me. And boy, am I pathetic?! I care for you more than I can promise, and I lose myself on the way. Funny how you can live life easier without me, eh? Remember when I told you that I’m struggling to go through my days with less time spent with you? I’m sure you do. Now do you remember what you replied? It’s very easy to say, ‘I’m okay’. Because it’s plain to see that you are. I just didn’t make an impact in your life. Just another girl, whom you LIKED, and that’s it. I’m just a passing phase, just another page in your life. I’m not afraid to cry, I’m already so weak. I swore I was once a tough cookie. Now I’m just a moist, over-baked one. What hurts the most, is being so close & having so much to say, to watch you walk away. I struggle, and NO, you DON’T know what it feels like, cause you didn’t have to deal with finding the pieces of your heart that’s scattered in the darkness. For short, you’ll never love me. If you did, you’d never love me as much as I love you. You’re just one guy, and I know that in time I’d heal, and someone else would replace the missing pieces of my heart with theirs. You took my heart, you pushed it aside one too many times. I love you, but this is where I draw the line. I hope you don’t miss me when I’m gone, cause I don’t want to be tempted into going back on my words. I hope I don’t betray these very sentences. I may or may not. With the right choices, hopefully I won’t get my heart shattered again. I’ve forgiven you as many times as my teardrops have rolled down my cheeks. I’ve thought of you as many times as I breathe in and out. I can’t handle anymore heartaches. If you can’t love me, tell me. I’d walk away knowing it’s my own fault. I’m finally letting you go.
Finally.
About me
I'm on my way to believing ; ♥
